I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Barsexuality is the new black.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
