how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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