nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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