You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
