they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I deserve this hangover.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
