I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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