When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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