As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I love you. Go after that dick
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
