yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
