return my video game
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
