she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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