Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
