i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
