It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
