I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
