we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
