i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
