So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
