I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
BRING THE BAGELS
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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