so explain again why im purple
no
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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