dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Just high enough for therapy.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
