You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
