Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
