You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
love makes seman taste better
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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