You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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