i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
