You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
being pregnant is like rehab
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
