Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
