with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
