Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
