JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
