haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
