If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Im part way to drunk.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
