I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
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