So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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