your thong is hanging out like whoa
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
