he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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