Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
