Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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