my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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