He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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