I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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