I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
i think i just lost a toe
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
