I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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