My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
