You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
