it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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