i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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