My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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