It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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