So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
